Positive Affirmation Flip Book

I am a big believer in using positive affirmations to reprogram your negative thoughts. 
As I have learned from The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne, here are a few pointers from the book to quickly explain what Negative Self-Talk is and how it works:

• It is so automatic and subtle you don't notice it or the effect it has on your moods and feelings.
• It appears in telegraphic form- one short word or image ("Oh no!) contains a whole series of thoughts, memories, or associations.
• Anxious self-talk is typically irrational but almost always sounds like the truth.
• Negative self-talk perpetuates avoidance.
• Self-talk can initiate or aggravate a panic attack.
• Negative self-talk is a series of negative bad habits. (You have to reprogram your brain to say helpful uplifting confident talk to remove the negative thoughts)

There are different kinds of negative self-talk. The Worrier often promotes "what if..." thoughts and promotes anxiety. My biggest what if thought is always, "What if I get sick and throw up?" The other kinds of sub personalities are the Perfectionist ("I should, or I have to" thoughts) which promotes chronic stress and burnout, the victim ("I can't. I'll never be able to) promotes depression, and the Critic ("Can't you ever get it right?") which promotes low self esteem.

The important thing to do is be able to recognize when you are promoting this behavior and what you are telling yourself. Then you counter your negative self-talk with positive counterstatements that you believe in or want to try to believe in. The book goes into more detail about questioning your thoughts and working through them rationally to prove they aren't true. It also helps you to create the positive counterstatements so that when you are in a situation where you are anxious and start to worry and promote the negative thoughts you can replace them and prevent your anxiety from going out of control, and giving yourself the confidence and respect you deserve.


When things get rough for me I tend to put positive affirmations or counterstatements up all over my house to remind me to hang in there and to reprogram my negative thoughts with positive ones. However, when things get better I throw them all away. The next time I need them, I find myself having to look them all up again online. This got me thinking of a more permanent solution so that I could have all of my favorite quotes and affirmations where I see them often and easily accessible.


I came up with the idea of making a flip book. This now sits on my nightstand where its the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning. The cover title is, "I Choose Peace"

I chose that because it helps to remind me of the following excerpt from the book "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook Fourth Edition":

"Focusing on a fear always makes it worse. I can change my focus to loving, supportive constructive ideas. I can't make fearful thoughts go away. Struggling with them only makes them loom larger. Instead I can redirect my mind to more peaceful calming thoughts and circumstances. Every time I do this I am choosing Peace instead of Fear.The more I choose peace, the more it becomes a part of my life.With practice I get better at redirecting my mind. I learn how to spend less time focusing on fear. I grow stronger in my ability to choose wholesome, helpful thoughts over fearful ones. I make time to relax- to reconnect with that place deep within myself that is always at peace. When I make time to do this, I can choose to move away from fearful thoughts. I can allow my mind to expand into a wider place that is much larger than my fearful thoughts. When I relax or meditate my mind becomes deep enough to transcend fear.
I'm learning to see that my fearful thought grossly overestimate risk or threat. The true risk I face in most situations is actually very small.
I'm learning to recognize my tendency to exaggerate risk, to blow them out of proportion. Every fear involves both overestimating the threat of danger and underestimating my ability to cope.
The important thing is not to feed fear. Not to dwell on it or give it energy..."

Here is an example of one of my favorite positive affirmations.

A lot of my anxiety stems from me worrying about worrying and how that will effect what others think of me. I have to remind myself that it doesn't matter if people think I am weird because I get panic attacks. It only matters what I think of me and I have to remind myself that I love and respect myself the way I am even with my anxiety no matter what anyone else thinks.


This particular page has a little bit of symbolism on it. The handwriting and the crackled paper are to remind me that I don't have to be perfect to be beautiful. The number one in the corner is to remind me to put myself and my happiness first.


My overall plan is to have 4-5 sections in it, one for each negative self talk personality- (The Worrier, The Critic, The Perfectionist, and The Victim) and maybe one for general quotes. Then I will list the positive affirmations in each area that help address those types of negative self talk. Then when I am getting anxious I can flip right to the section I need and see all the warm fuzzy thoughts to help me feel better.


I made it a point to hand write (Ok trace) the words myself because it allows the affirmation to really sink in and it means more to me that I did it all instead of just printing it out from the computer.

TUTORIAL: 

This was REALLY easy to make for anyone interested in doing their own. If you are not a scrapbooker but like the concept you could buy a rolodex from Office Depot and fill in the notecards with your affirmations.

My supplies all came from my local Hobby Lobby or home and were:


2, 8X8 pieces of thick cardboard from the back of a sketchbook
1, 12X12 and 1, 8.5 X 11 piece of cream cardstock paper
1 8X8 piece of patterned scrapbook paper
Tim Holtz grungeboard book (This will be for the different sections) I will use a thinner grungeboard paper for the individual affirmations so the book isn't so thick.
Photo splitz and a gluestick

I used the tutorial found here to make my blank flip book. It took me maybe an hour.

The stand looks like this from the side:

I'm really excited about this because I really need the access to these positive thoughts more than I am looking them up. As I make more pages I will share my positive affirmations with you so you can hopefully learn new ones and use them in your life to be the best you.

Enjoy!

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Endure it Well

Yesterday morning I awoke with the familiar butterflies in my stomach and the anxiety levels rising. I could feel it getting worse even though I was trying to breathe deeply. I started to get really frustrated. I was tired of feeling sick. I was feeling guilty and annoyed that I was still feeling anxious. I started to worry that things wouldn't get better.

But if I think about it, I have been rushing this whole process. I keep expecting to feel better and then when I don't I am immediately put into a bad mood.

So my mantra yesterday was "You don't have to be all better today."

I really think this lesson is learning to love myself WITH my anxiety. I don't have to be all better in order to be worthy of love and respect from myself.

So last night I was reading in the Bible and came across a story that was an answer to my prayers.

It is about a father that brings his son who has a demon inside him to Jesus to be healed.

Mark 9: 22-24 (bold and italics added)

22 And ofttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but if thou canst do any thing, have ^acompassion on us, and help us.

 23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are ^apossible to him that ^bbelieveth.

 24 And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine ^aunbelief.

This story was another reminder to me that I need to have faith that things will get better. And that I need to pray for help with my doubts and frustration. 

So my goal is to try to stay positive and patient even though things are really crappy. I don't want to fall into the victim trap where I revel in the sympathy that others may give me when they hear of my situation. I want to be strong even when I feel so weak. I don't just want to endure this, I want to "endure it well".

D&C 121:8-

"8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."

So this morning I woke up with panic. Not worst case panic but pretty severe. I had burning in my arms and breathing wasn't helping. So I told myself its ok if still need to take Clonazepam to help me through the day. So I took one and although it made me tired for awhile, I am now feeling much better. 

I'll get to where I want to be someday, but it doesn't have to be today. I just have to remember that.

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Staying in the Present

I have often heard about anxiety a lot of times being about the future or the past but not usually about the present. I saw this quote today:

and I like it because its a reminder to try to stay in the present. Sure it's not that easy to read that and say "Ok I will stop worrying now!" but its still something to think about. My good friend told me when he feels panic coming on he gets out a jar of lemons and smells them because he is trying to associate the smell as something comforting and it helps bring him back to the present. Not sure if that would work for everyone, I've never tried it, but it sounds like an interesting idea. What are some ways you try to stay in the present instead of worrying about your past or the future?

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Feeding Our Hungry Souls

Today has been one of those days. I'm big and tired and I feel a little lost. I clean the house to have it dirtied just as fast and I wonder why I bother. I'm a little sad, but really for no reason. Today is one of those days where my soul is hungry. Give me purpose!

I came across this video of a local woman who is also a blogger. I've heard her story before and to see this really touched me. She and her husband survived a plane crash and this is a little bit about their life now. She was even on Oprah at one time. No matter what your religion or personal beliefs, there are really great lessons about life and family in this woman's story.




Just what my heart needed today. I really feel it is important to feed our souls daily with inspiration, motivation, or some form of meditation. Something to help us reflect on the big picture and realign ourselves with the present instead of always living in fear of the future. I'm not always good at doing this everyday, but when I don't, I feel my anxiety swallowing me whole.

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Great Song- I'm Moving On by Rascal Flats

I was on a road trip this past weekend, more details on that adventure coming soon, when this song came on my iPod and I remembered just how much I love it. It really is a feel good song, and makes me realize that I don't have to pity myself or stay stuck with my anxiety. I can do something about it, and so can you. Today.

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Need a Little Faith and Motivation?

This time around on the anxiety rollercoaster, I feel that my spirits are down for the count. I don't feel that determination to fight the battle, but more like I am just chuggin along trying my best to deal with it all. I think this is due to the fact that my hormones are about as far out of whack as they can get these days. Whats happening is in the morning hours when the anxiety is the worst, some pretty scary thoughts enter my head that I can't ignore. Things like, "What if I can't get better and they take me away for losing my mind and I lose my family". Then as morning turns to midday and afternoon and I slowly become myself again, I realize the nonsense of those fears and how I will overcome this again, it will just take some time. But those early morning hours can be scary. I am not myself and my mind is on overdrive.

So I perused the blog under the Motivation label and found a few things that I wrote about a long time ago that were really helpful to hear again today.

First off, a really great quote:

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.”

--Brian Tracy

And then something from a previous post from almost two years ago that was exactly what I needed to hear today,

"Last night I was reading from The Book of Mormon and I read this: “Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren… and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.” –Alma 26: 27

It struck me how important that direction was for me in my life. Sometimes it can be so frustrating and exhausting to constantly be worrying or thinking about anxiety and I just want to give up and say, “Well I tried. I guess this is my lot in life and I should just accept my fate.” Or I struggle with “When”. “When will I get over this? When will I not be afraid? When can I be considered cured?” But if there is any lesson to be learned in all of this it is patience. And if I can be patient with my struggles and hurdles, eventually Heavenly Father will give me the success that I so desperately want in my life. He knows better than I do my needs and He will see that I learn whatever it is I need to learn along the way."

So today was a reminder that I don't have to be all better today or tomorrow. I don't have to put that pressure on myself. It was a reminder that the pity parties don't do any good and I need to stop acting like a victim and change my attitude about how I am going to battle this. I need to be patient with the side effects and not let them get the better of me.

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People Pleasing Stresses Me Out!

I needed to hear this so maybe someone else will benefit as well:

You Can't Please Everyone

by allinspiration.com

You may be generally an amiable and pleasant person. You may generally get along well with most people. But somehow, there is that one family member, that one friend, that one colleague, who doesn't take to you very well.

This might disappoint you, sadden you, or even disillusion you. Don't allow it to.

Every single person is unique. Every single relationship is different. Somewhere, somehow, there will be people who don't quite get along.

If you allow yourself to adjust your personal values, to change the person that you are, just to win over that one person or few people, you run the risk of adversely affecting the good relationships you do have.

Be positive. Focus on your happy relationships. At the same time, accept that there will be ones that don't go so well. Whatever you say or do, whoever you are, whatever character or personality you have, you won't be able to please everyone.

CELEBRATE.

I know that I haven’t posted in forever and I am so sorry about that. Lately it seems that as my due date looms closer I have gone into survival mode of just trying to make it through the day doing the bare minimums. Plus I have been blessed to have my anxiety not as strong throughout my pregnancy because my appetite has taken over my worries in my head. It’s amazing what the human body can do.

However today started a fresh wave of panic because the plans for 3 baby showers are starting to solidify. The invitations are being made, addresses are being collected, and I have to go register for baby stuff this week because I procrastinated as long as I could. Don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful for the baby showers because we really don’t have a lot of the supplies we need yet and it shows that people really care about me. However being in the spotlight has me starting to worry as it always does. In fact, the anticipatory anxiety over having a baby shower started soon after I found out I was pregnant.

It got me thinking about my wedding almost six years ago. (Man how time flies!) Most women have dreamt about every detail of their wedding day since they were very little and know exactly how they want it all to be. They envision and plan for years and when the day comes its all about the bride and how amazing they are. I never really thought much about my wedding day, only more about who the groom would be. I chose my dress to be pretty simple because I didn’t want to bring a lot of attention to myself. I didn't want any embroidery or eccentric bead work. I felt like everyone was thinking that I was too young to get married. I am sure there were some people that did think that. I was really young, I was only 19! But it hurts me now to know that I let myself harbor feelings of embarrassment and unworthiness and even more so that I gave into them and made decisions based off of those feelings. How silly and unfortunate looking back. I didn’t like being in the spotlight and I let myself get so caught up in what everyone else must have been thinking that I really didn’t enjoy the day the way that I should have. I should have really CELEBRATED and not cared what anyone else thought about it. But for me I know that is easier said than done.

I don’t want those feelings from my wedding day to happen again. I want to enjoy each baby shower the way I should instead of worrying throughout the entire thing just trying to survive it. Worrying about whether people are judging you or not is such a waste of time! I don’t even know what I am worrying about- is it the food thing? Is it worrying that no one will show up? I don’t even know and yet this anticipatory anxiety is lingering at the pit of my stomach. I want to celebrate this new life. What a fun word. "Celebrate". It has so much more brightness, goodness and uplifting fulfillment to it as opposed to the word "Worry".

So I know what I need to do. I need to figure out and analyze what negative thoughts I am putting in my head and swap them out with positive ones. Perhaps I will do it in a later post. For now, I just wanted to say that I am not anxiety free and it really sucks sometimes to feel the control slipping, or having to deal with the anxiety at all. It’d be nice to not dread every upcoming event. Every evening out on the town, every family get together, every company event all comes with different levels of anxiety, rarely anxiety free. Its especially frustrating because I want to be at these events but the worrying can sometimes make it hard to enjoy them. At least I can manage my anxiety to a certain degree. If I really think about it, I don’t think I have had a full blown out of control panic attack since September which is really great progress. Its just draining to the soul sometimes. But celebrating life instead of dreading it seems like a pretty good goal to keep working towards.

No Sympathy if You Don’t Try to Change

This is a little thing I live by whether its right or wrong. Don't get me wrong, I can sympathize, empathize, show compassion, and feel bad for someone if they are in a crappy situation. I am not a heart of stone. However, if after a certain amount of time of hearing the same complaints over and over and knowing the person has done nothing to change their predicament; I lose the sympathy and just get tired of listening. I have been known to tell people after years of the same problem that unless they do something about it, I don’t want to hear about it anymore.

Sometimes I have to take a look at myself and see if I am doing the same thing to others. I have been struggling with work lately and have even written a couple blog posts on it, because it really has been crappy and has been affecting my moods. A couple of you told me that maybe I should be looking for a change. That hit home to me, because really I wasn’t doing anything to improve the situation yet sulking and complaining was the natural release.

So I am pleased to announce that I did take steps to improve my work situation. At first I struggled because I didn’t think I had very many options being pregnant and all. But I posted my resume on Monster and was surprised of the response I got. I still didn’t think I would be a great candidate when they learned of my pregnancy so I didn’t pursue any of those too much. Plus the stress of starting a new job at a new company doesn’t sound like fun. But to know I had options really improved my self esteem and quieted some doubts. Luckily a position opened up at my work in a different department and although it will be a significant pay cut since it’s not a managerial position, it will allow me to work part time and at home after the baby is born at an hourly wage that is very good! I couldn’t be more excited or feel more blessed. Not only will I not have the stressors of management- meetings, confrontations, hiring, firings, dealing with senior management, etc. but I will be able to have the ideal setup and I won’t be working for my boss which has been the hardest thing.

It’s not completely official but it looks like it will be happening very soon. Thanks to everyone for your advice. I really do listen, promise. And now hopefully my complaints will go down as well which is better for everyone.

Moral of the story: Are you one of those people that when encountering a problem, take action to change your plight or do you thrive on the sympathy and attention you get from others, maybe from your anxiety or panic attacks?

That might sound like a silly question but it happens. We may not even realize it, but deep down we may be benefiting from having anxiety and don’t really want to give up that benefit. The question is what are we gaining? Is it really worth it? Do you thrive on the attention for example? Maybe your spouse picks up the slack in other areas of life that you don’t want to deal with such as housework, taking care of the kids, and the finances. There are so many possibilities. It’s interesting to think about, and to weigh whether the subtle benefits are worth the crippling effect of anxiety. If you decide to give them up, then change is the next step. Change can be a career change like me for example, a break in a relationship, a trip to the doctor, to the bookstore, out of your front door. It could be going out with a friend, taking a chance on a new relationship, etc.

So what kind of person are you?

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Great Quote Alert

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.”

--Brian Tracy

New Year, Clean Slate, Fresh Look

New Year, Clean Slate, Fresh Look

Sorry I did not write over break, my computer broke and I had no internet access. It’s nice to get in touch with the world again. Happy New Year! What an amazing feeling to know that you have a whole new year to start over. As Natasha Beddingfield says, “Today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten.” I am sure you have all made New Year’s Resolutions by now and I hope you are staying positive and motivated. Just a tip, make realistic goals and not too many of them.

I looked back on my 2007 Resolutions and saw that one was to “get over my stomach anxiety” and to gain weight. This made me reflect on everything I have been through this past year and helped me to realize just how much I have accomplished. I have learned so much about anxiety, phobias, etc. and hopefully my journey has helped others to find hope and motivation as well. I may never “get over” my anxiety, but I have learned tools to help me manage it which has helped me to heal, grow stronger in my self esteem, and have a happier life. Sure there are setbacks and bad days where I am not panic free, but I will take today over last January 2 any day.

The holiday break was extremely helpful for my fried emotions. I did nothing. I sat around all day long in my pjs make-up free and watched TV, sewed, and more TV. Today I may be back at work, but I am more relaxed, more patient, and it feels good. I often need to take a day off from work for this purpose only

What are my 2008 resolutions? Besides the obvious baby/parenting ones, all of my goals revolve around finding and bringing more peace into my life by forming good habits. I want to get back into yoga and keep it up consistently. It helps me to stay relaxed and calm more often when I do it regularly, but it’s hard to make time for it when I get home from work and am tired and just want to sleep. So I want to work on that. I want to find a way to stay at peace at work. Whether it’s just remembering the light at the end of the tunnel, or finding/remembering a mantra (ex: happiness happens inside of you, not to you) something to help me not pull my hair out and cry everyday. I want to add more spirituality to my life. Reading my scriptures, prayer, stuff like that. So it all equals more peace.

What are some of your New Year’s Resolutions?

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Proof that Positive Affirmations Work

photo by Thiru Murugan

One of my favorite positive affirmations that I remind myself of daily is “There’s no need to push yourself. You can take as small a step forward as you choose.”

When I first started using positive affirmations, I liked this one because it calmed me down, and made me feel safe. At the time I started using it, I was aggressively trying to gain weight by taking weight gaining supplements, counting my calories, and force feeding myself when I wasn’t hungry. I wrote a post called, “My Healthy My Happy” where I decided that I was putting too much pressure on myself which was causing more anxiety. That’s when I posted a picture of a footprint in the sand on my cubicle wall right next to my monitor at work that represented the positive affirmation above. It’s something that no one else would know its meaning except for me, and I can remind myself often that I don’t have to push myself.

The underlying fear of trusting this affirmation is that I would never make any progress. I do want to gain weight, but I also want to be as anxiety free as possible. So I decided to work first on my anxiety and then when I get to a better place I could refocus on my weight.

Around this same time, I was around 106 pounds. That was after I had gained almost 10 lbs. I went on vacation to Hawaii where I had major panic attacks daily because I was off of my medication (because I didn’t wait long enough for it to work before I decided it was useless, bad decision) and I didn’t have enough Clonozepam with me because I thought I would be fine. (Another painful but important lesson I learned). When I got home from vacation I was down to around 99-100 lbs. I had lost all my progress of weight that I had gained. It was a horrible setback for me. I felt like I would never recover and I would never be able to gain the weight back.

That was back in April. I am pleased to say that I now weigh 105- 106 again and I haven’t been trying to gain weight at all. I have been really good at listening to my body, eating when I am hungry, and stopping when I am full. It’s very cool because before it was really hard work to gain the weight. This time I haven’t focused on it at all, rather I have been focusing on my anxiety instead.

So I wanted to let others know that positive affirmations really do work. They don’t hold you back from progress, but they can help you achieve success.

For more information on positive affirmations, you should check out some of my other posts on the topic.

I hope everyone has a panic free Thanksgiving tomorrow. Thanks for all of your support and well wishes.

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Our Deepest Fear

photo by timsamoff

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson
American author, lecturer


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National Love Your Body Day

Today is National Love Your Body Day. According to this website 80% of Women in the U.S. are dissatisfied with their appearance. The first day was celebrated back in Sept. 25, 1998.

So this morning I got up and did the works to celebrate today. Shower, shaving, tweezing, bleaching, styling, etc. I was thinking about what I would mention and realized that I had it all backwards. I was trying to be beautiful instead of already thinking I was. I think the most important thing is to realize is that today is a day to love your body NOW, the way it already looks. Its not a day to say, “because I love my body I am going to start that diet..." It's where you appreciate what you already have and celebrate YOU!

Dove has been doing a campaign for a long time on celebrating "real" beauty as opposed to what society tells us is beauty. Here are some of their videos. They are all short but have an awesome message.

Dove- Campaign For Real Beauty

Another video by Dove that is very interesting can be found here.

They have a ton more videos.

I recommend checking out this website for ideas on what you can do to help you "love your body"

So how will you celebrate?

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I Can Only Imagine

Its not a new year, but it feels like today is a fresh start, a clean slate. Its a very hopeful feeling. I think its because I am finally starting to feel better, and work is finally calmed down a bit. Instead of working like a dog I am planning for the next time I will have to work like a dog. Also my birthday is coming up and that is in the back of my thoughts, so I guess it is almost a new year in some way.

Today I got a magazine subscription offer that I would normally turn down, but it was sent from my little nephew in Ohio in his little kid handwriting to help him raise money for his school. How can you turn down that? So I am going to order Women's Health and I am excited about it.

Ok so to go along with this great feeling that I have today, I want to share with you one of the most inspirational videos I have ever seen. Every time I see this video it makes me cry, but it has an amazing message.



This is a video of a father and son team that runs triathlons. To learn more about Team Hoyt, you can visit their website here.

The message that I take from this video besides the amazing father this boy has and how special we are all as individuals, is that no matter what you are going through, having a support person be family or friend can help take you to the places where you may not be able to go alone. I am blessed to have my spouse that is always helping me to feel loved and appreciated just the way I am. I have one or two good friends that will listen to me no mater how silly my thoughts may sound out loud. And I also have all of my online friends that share lessons learned and valuable insight to life. As cheesy at it may sound, all these supporters bring me higher and closer to reaching my goals than I could ever do alone. If you feel all alone in your anxiety or panic attacks, you can stop here anytime for some support.

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9 Ways to Motivate Yourself

Lately I have been a bit of a slacker when it comes to behaviors I know in the long run will help me feel better but I am not in the mood to do them. It can feel like a lot of work sometimes to start a new behavior, especially if you feel under the weather like I do right now. So I thought I would do a little research on motivating myself to get off the couch (which will be even tougher now that new fall series are starting!) and do my yoga, prepare for a healthy meal, or even simply taking my medication. I have simply gotten lazy. Here is a really cool article I found by Skye Thomas over at www.icbs.com:

"Achieving the really big goals and dreams always involves breaking it down into do-able little steps. Assuming that you've picked a goal or dream that you really love working at, then most of the steps are a delight to take. No matter how much you love your dream and no matter how much you love your work, there are going to be tasks along the way that you really don't want to do. Those pieces of work that we hate doing can be the very ones that sabotage our success. How do you stay motivated during those parts of the journey?

1) Reward yourself. Let's say that I want to lose twenty pounds. That's not too much, but it's still going to involve more days of self discipline that I feel like doing. So, I reward myself with a little treat every time I drop five pounds. I get to have one of my favorite fattening meals at the end of each five pound loss. Then I go back to my diet. At the end, I get to go on a shopping spree to buy new clothes. Come up with a reward that you can use to motivate yourself.

2) Do it for love of someone else. My teenage son proposed a deal that works for both of us. I don't smoke cigarettes and he doesn't experiment with drugs. Every time one of us is about to give in to temptation, our love for each other stops us. I can't light up knowing that he might start doing drugs because I broke our deal. He hates the idea of me dying of cancer, so he never touches any kinds of drugs offered to him by his peers. The love of someone else can motivate you to do what you otherwise might not be able to do for yourself.

3) Trade work with someone else. I've watched my kids perfect this style of motivation. My son will offer to scrub out the showers if my daughter will do the dishes for him. Hiring someone to do the work you don't want to do is actually a form of trade. Barter or pay someone else to do it for you, so that you can continue moving forward with your dreams.

4) Truly consider quitting. I'm not telling you to quit, but to really think about it. If you've got a goal or dream that means a lot to you and you've already invested a large part of yourself into making it happen, then what would quitting feel like? Is avoiding the difficult or distasteful task worth giving up on your goals and dreams? The love of your long-term goal can motivate you not to quit.

5) Share the misery. This reminds me of friends in college getting together to study for an upcoming test. Having friends along can make the experience more festive then it would have been if you were doing it alone. Is there a way to team up with a friend so that the work is easier or at least more enjoyable?

6) Just get it over with. One of my all time favorite quotes about getting past your inner blocks was written by Stuart Wilde in his book The Quickening, "Cut the shit and do the thing." Yeah it's a bit rough, but we all know those stoic tough people who simply roll up their sleeves and dive in know matter how much they may hate the task before them. Take on a soldier's mindset and just get to work doing the ugly parts so you can move on to the more rewarding parts of making your dreams a reality.

7) Get training or education. Quite often, we don't like doing something because deep down we don't think we know how or that we are talented enough. So, get the education, do the research, learn the necessary skills, or whatever else it is that you need to do to get ready for taking that next step. Once you've properly trained yourself, then you might even be enthusiastic about taking that next step.

8) Take a running start at it. Think of riding your bike uphill. It doesn't take kids very long to figure out that the best way to get that bicycle to the top of the steep hill is to build up a lot of speed before you even get to the base of the hill. You then let that momentum help to propel you most of the way up. Heck, with enough of a running start you can sometimes make it all the way up without any major struggles. If there is a way to pace yourself and reschedule the not so fun parts of accomplishing your goals until after you've completed a bunch of the cool parts, then do so. The highs of your mini successes will help inspire you to push past the parts that you are avoiding.

9) Figure out a different way to do it. This is the supreme way to avoid doing the task all together. Be creative, be smart, think outside the box. Is there any way to make your dream come true without having to actually do the specific duty that you're wanting to avoid? Sometimes you can find another way. Other times, just knowing that there is definitely no other path to your dreams other than the one before you is enough to motivate you to just buck up and get through it.

What's most important is not how you keep yourself motivated but that you keep the long-term benefits of your goals in mind. If you focus too much on avoiding the uncomfortable parts of accomplishing your goals, then you won't accomplish much. Find a way to keep going and remember that all things come with a price. Pay the price so you can get on with enjoying the dream."

I want to setup a reward program for myself because I think that will motivate me the most. I am a material girl I'll admit it!

Any other good ideas to help you stay motivated to make the necessary life changes to reduce stress and anxiety in our lives?

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Quick Thought For the Day

While in a classroom installing our software I saw this quote hanging above the chalkboard, "Be yourself. An original is always worth more than a copy."

I like that because so often we are trying to conform to what we think is acceptable, what's appropriate, what others will like us for, instead of just being what or who we are.

In this picture my niece is being just that- crazy, spunky, I'll do anything to get you to laugh, Rylee Jane.

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Personal Bill of Rights

photo of one of my dogs on the way to the mountains on Friday

I am so sorry that it has been so long since I've posted. I took the weekend off for a little get away for my anniversary but I am back now. I had a really great time and I got a new Rebel XT Digital camera so hopefully I can put more of my own pictures on here in the future.

I also had a bridal shower on Saturday and when I showed up I noticed tables set up in another room with place settings, and the smells coming from the kitchen told me there was a full on meal being prepared. Usually at showers there is a light amount of food, fruit, desserts, maybe a croissant sandwich, but this smelled heavy. Sure enough it was a two course meal and I got nervous. I took a spot that was in the corner but surprisingly the table I chose filled up with people while others stayed more empty. I cursed myself for picking the spot. I was hoping to be more secluded so I wouldn't feel like I was being watched. So I took a little clonozepam. The first course was a soup served in wine glasses with a shrimp garnish. (the grandmother making the food used to own a restaurant). I tried it and although it wasn't gross, it wasn't my favorite. So I took my time and watched everyone else. Some ate all of theirs, others hardly ate any which comforted me to feel like I didn't have to eat it all if I didn't want to. So I didn't. he next course was served buffet style and it was a mexican dish with tortillas, rice, veggies and grilled chicken. It was really yummy and I was able to take an amount I was comfortable with. I LOVE buffets for that very reason. So I made it through and the dessert was a yummy sorbet. I was proud that I made it through something I didn't prepare for at all.

So thank you for the thoughts my way and support.

Here is an interesting concept found in The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook:

Its called your "Personal Bill of Rights". This concept is drawn on the idea that we all have rights as human beings and sometimes we either forget or we don't realize that we have them because we weren't taught them as children growing up. If we can not only realize these rights but also learn to exercise them than we can build a more assertive attitude which means we respect ourselves enough to be conscious of our basic human rights. Here is the list:

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can't meet.
3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
4. I have the right to change my mind.
5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
6. I have the right to follow my own standards and standards.
7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
9. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.
10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.
13. I have the right to feel scared and say "I'm scared."
14. I have the right to say "I don't know."
15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
    
16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
20. I have the right to be in a non abusive environment.
21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
22. I have the right to change and grow.
23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
25. I have the right to be happy.
    

He says that if you read through this list everyday carefully, eventually you will learn to accept that you are entitled to each of the rights enumerated.

Personally, my favorites are 19, 15, and 21. Which ones are your favorites and why?


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Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

On this Fourth of July I can't help but think about how lucky I am to live in this country. We may not be granted happiness, but we are given so many things that help us with the pursuit of it and isn't that what life is all about? Isn't that what we are all striving for every day? To find our own personal happiness, personal peace of mind and acceptance in this world.

When I went to India a few years back, my eyes were opened up to just how lucky I am. Walking through the streets I saw these children running amuck, dirty, unsupervised, barefoot and their clothes were hanging off of them. My hearts went out to them. They loved getting their picture taken and seeing it on the camera. I went back a few months later and saw them again to my delight, but nothing had changed. Most everyone lived in cramped apartments and if you weren't that lucky you would be in a shanty or a small room made out of tin with a tarp for a roof. Your children would be playing in the sewers or helping you work doing construction. I came home to my 2 bedroom starter home with a raised ceiling and thought that I lived in a mansion and felt so unbelievably blessed. We all have our problems but I can't help but feel grateful today for all that our country offers us. Don't get me wrong, India is beautiful and has a very rich fascinating culture. However, the average person here in America lives a much richer life with streets that are clean, dogs that are put in shelters and not left to fill the streets, and food that isn't sold on the ground two feet next to the trash infested ditches.


So as you go to your family BBQ, the city parade or carnival, while watching the fireworks or seeing a movie, whatever your family tradition might be, look around at all that you have. Tomorrow might be full of complaints but maybe today we can just be grateful for our blessings and opportunities that make the Pursuit a little easier.

If interested here are some more of my pictures from India. Enjoy!

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Lessons Learned: Patience and Determination

photo by cahrleskames

The last few days I have been so busy that I haven’t had time to write. Last night I was trying to think of what I should blog about and couldn’t think of any “Ah ha!” moments that I have had recently or any major struggles that I haven’t already blogged about. Sure I have had a few instances where I was anxious but they never elevated to anything past a 2. So I started to think about how nice it is to have these few days of solitude, where even though work is getting busier and more stressful, my mind and body are cooperating with me. So I am counting my blessings for the time being.

Last night I was reading from The Book of Mormon and I read this: “Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren… and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.” –Alma 26: 27

It struck me how important that direction was for me in my life. Sometimes it can be so frustrating and exhausting to constantly be worrying or thinking about anxiety and I just want to give up and say, “Well I tried. I guess this is my lot in life and I should just accept my fate.” Or I struggle with “When”. “When will I get over this? When will I not be afraid? When can I be considered cured?” But if there is any lesson to be learned in all of this it is patience. And if I can be patient with my struggles and hurdles, eventually Heavenly Father will give me the success that I so desperately want in my life. He knows better than I do my needs and He will see that I learn whatever it is I need to learn along the way.

Because I am in a good state of mind lately it’s easy to say to myself "Just be patient." I’m sure if this was a bad day I wouldn’t appreciate the response to my When questions very much. So I am thankful for the timing of this lesson and I hope that when things aren’t so easy that I can recall this blog and maybe it will give me some strength to keep fighting, keep learning, and keep trying. Never Give Up.