Friday, June 29, 2007

Level 3 Panic, but I Survived

So I made it through today. Not scot free like the last couple outings, but I didn't have a full blown attack. I got a really yummy salad at lunch and it filled me up before my main meal came. So when the meal came and I wasn't hungry, I started to feel stupid, or that I should be able to eat more like everyone else. I started focusing on whether anyone was watching me and I could feel my anxiety get to a level 3 (see anxiety scale post for more info).

Then, when I started to get lost in my negative self talk and the butterflies were soaring, I was saved by the bell. My phone started ringing and it was Ty. I was able to excuse myself and talk to him and refocus and calm down. When I got back in everything got much better. I was still feeling a little stupid, but I packed up everything I knew I wouldn't eat and left a bag of chips open that I could occasionally munch on. No one said anything to me even though I felt at least one set of eyes (a lady who already has confronted me about not eating enough) watching me. I just ignored her and tried to get distracted in the conversations around me. It worked.

The wedding reception I lucked out of and got there when no one was there and I ended up having to leave after maybe 15 minutes to make Ty's softball game which is where I am writing this as they are getting slaughtered big time.

So all in all, I got lost in my thoughts, but was able to snap out of it before it got out of control. Not a setback at all I think.I don't have to be anxiety free every time in order to have a successful situation I think. For me, baby steps are learning to manage my anxiety, not focusing on stopping it cold turkey.

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Anonymous said...

I think that's great progress! It is so strange how anxiety can hit us so hard, and other people just look at us and don't understand why we are feeling anxiety in that situation. My anxiety is different, but I completely understand you. I'm glad you got through okay. :)

Aimée said...

Thanks Cynthia! What kind of situations make you feel anxious?

Lorri Craig said...

Hi Aimee. Love your site and your insight. Really like your statement: "I don't have to be anxiety free every time in order to have a successful situation." Great realisation.

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