Monday, September 17, 2007

9 Ways to Motivate Yourself

Lately I have been a bit of a slacker when it comes to behaviors I know in the long run will help me feel better but I am not in the mood to do them. It can feel like a lot of work sometimes to start a new behavior, especially if you feel under the weather like I do right now. So I thought I would do a little research on motivating myself to get off the couch (which will be even tougher now that new fall series are starting!) and do my yoga, prepare for a healthy meal, or even simply taking my medication. I have simply gotten lazy. Here is a really cool article I found by Skye Thomas over at www.icbs.com:

"Achieving the really big goals and dreams always involves breaking it down into do-able little steps. Assuming that you've picked a goal or dream that you really love working at, then most of the steps are a delight to take. No matter how much you love your dream and no matter how much you love your work, there are going to be tasks along the way that you really don't want to do. Those pieces of work that we hate doing can be the very ones that sabotage our success. How do you stay motivated during those parts of the journey?

1) Reward yourself. Let's say that I want to lose twenty pounds. That's not too much, but it's still going to involve more days of self discipline that I feel like doing. So, I reward myself with a little treat every time I drop five pounds. I get to have one of my favorite fattening meals at the end of each five pound loss. Then I go back to my diet. At the end, I get to go on a shopping spree to buy new clothes. Come up with a reward that you can use to motivate yourself.

2) Do it for love of someone else. My teenage son proposed a deal that works for both of us. I don't smoke cigarettes and he doesn't experiment with drugs. Every time one of us is about to give in to temptation, our love for each other stops us. I can't light up knowing that he might start doing drugs because I broke our deal. He hates the idea of me dying of cancer, so he never touches any kinds of drugs offered to him by his peers. The love of someone else can motivate you to do what you otherwise might not be able to do for yourself.

3) Trade work with someone else. I've watched my kids perfect this style of motivation. My son will offer to scrub out the showers if my daughter will do the dishes for him. Hiring someone to do the work you don't want to do is actually a form of trade. Barter or pay someone else to do it for you, so that you can continue moving forward with your dreams.

4) Truly consider quitting. I'm not telling you to quit, but to really think about it. If you've got a goal or dream that means a lot to you and you've already invested a large part of yourself into making it happen, then what would quitting feel like? Is avoiding the difficult or distasteful task worth giving up on your goals and dreams? The love of your long-term goal can motivate you not to quit.

5) Share the misery. This reminds me of friends in college getting together to study for an upcoming test. Having friends along can make the experience more festive then it would have been if you were doing it alone. Is there a way to team up with a friend so that the work is easier or at least more enjoyable?

6) Just get it over with. One of my all time favorite quotes about getting past your inner blocks was written by Stuart Wilde in his book The Quickening, "Cut the shit and do the thing." Yeah it's a bit rough, but we all know those stoic tough people who simply roll up their sleeves and dive in know matter how much they may hate the task before them. Take on a soldier's mindset and just get to work doing the ugly parts so you can move on to the more rewarding parts of making your dreams a reality.

7) Get training or education. Quite often, we don't like doing something because deep down we don't think we know how or that we are talented enough. So, get the education, do the research, learn the necessary skills, or whatever else it is that you need to do to get ready for taking that next step. Once you've properly trained yourself, then you might even be enthusiastic about taking that next step.

8) Take a running start at it. Think of riding your bike uphill. It doesn't take kids very long to figure out that the best way to get that bicycle to the top of the steep hill is to build up a lot of speed before you even get to the base of the hill. You then let that momentum help to propel you most of the way up. Heck, with enough of a running start you can sometimes make it all the way up without any major struggles. If there is a way to pace yourself and reschedule the not so fun parts of accomplishing your goals until after you've completed a bunch of the cool parts, then do so. The highs of your mini successes will help inspire you to push past the parts that you are avoiding.

9) Figure out a different way to do it. This is the supreme way to avoid doing the task all together. Be creative, be smart, think outside the box. Is there any way to make your dream come true without having to actually do the specific duty that you're wanting to avoid? Sometimes you can find another way. Other times, just knowing that there is definitely no other path to your dreams other than the one before you is enough to motivate you to just buck up and get through it.

What's most important is not how you keep yourself motivated but that you keep the long-term benefits of your goals in mind. If you focus too much on avoiding the uncomfortable parts of accomplishing your goals, then you won't accomplish much. Find a way to keep going and remember that all things come with a price. Pay the price so you can get on with enjoying the dream."


I want to setup a reward program for myself because I think that will motivate me the most. I am a material girl I'll admit it!

Any other good ideas to help you stay motivated to make the necessary life changes to reduce stress and anxiety in our lives?

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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Question Box

I want to base as many posts as possible on real questions from readers. So - the ‘question box’ is open.

This posting is going straight to my sidebar as an ongoing conversation. It is my question box, where anyone at anytime can ask me a question about anxiety or stress or anything related to Mental Health. Although I am not a physician, I will do my best to help you with whatever questions you have on the subject, or otherwise find someone who is better qualified to answer it for me. Maybe its medication related, or ways to reduce stress, you name it. Ask away. I will respond here in the comments section but will also do posts on the topic if appropriate. Any topic is fine - but I’ll of course give priority to those that are on topic to this blog. So fire away, I am looking forward to seeing what the Reality of Anxiety community comes up with.

Note: If you don’t want your name/blog to be linked to your question feel free to ask it anonymously. Please submit the questions in comments below.

Enjoy!

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Lonely Like a Fish Out of Water

Sorry for the delay in posts but I have been out sick for two days without a computer. I have been going through Reality of Anxiety withdrawals. So a very interesting thing has happened to me lately. With my business trip and my husband now gone on a business trip and with all the overtime I have been working before the business trips, it feels like a long time since my husband and I have spent any time together. And at first I was fine, in fact I love spending time alone to do whatever I want, or better yet, nothing at all. However the last few days I have started feeling lonely. This is not common for me at all. I am finding myself calling friends and family just to talk. I actually went over to a friend’s house last night to hang out for no reason at all, just because I wanted to get out of my house and interact with someone. It’s been overwhelming. I haven’t broken down into tears but have felt close to it at times. I just feel so alone and useless. Luckily Ty is coming home tonight and hopefully we can put some normality back in our lives.

It’s been years since I have felt like this. I can remember wanting friends and feeling like I was lacking that in my life, but not knowing how to make them. Loneliness is a horrible feeling, and maybe I have somehow tried to protect myself from it with my social anxiety. If I am too scared to interact with others than maybe I am too consumed with fear to feel the loneliness? Maybe I have gotten so used to my support person being there that the loss of that support is hitting me hard?

So I wanna know- is there anyone else out there with Social Anxiety that feels lonely, and why? It seems like such a contradiction but I am proof it can happen.


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Monday, September 10, 2007

Quick Thought For the Day


While in a classroom installing our software I saw this quote hanging above the chalkboard, "Be yourself. An original is always worth more than a copy."

I like that because so often we are trying to conform to what we think is acceptable, what's appropriate, what others will like us for, instead of just being what or who we are.

In this picture my niece is being just that- crazy, spunky, I'll do anything to get you to laugh, Rylee Jane.

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Saturday, September 8, 2007

Do's and Don'ts of Traveling with Anxiety: Part 3

For me this is the best thing I did for myself on my business trip to California. If renting a car, DO rent a GPS unit to help you navigate.


I have a lot of anxiety with driving. It took me 3 tries to get my license and it was only due to my parent's pushing me. I was 18 when I finally got it. I had no desire to drive. Sitting in the driver seat nearly gave me panic attacks. I eventually got used to it, but had a hard time on the freeways. So I would drive if I had to but I would avoid freeways as much as I could.

Now I have to drive an hour to work everyday on the freeway. I don't like driving with people in the car with me, and I don't like driving when I don't know how to get there. So anytime I have to drive with others, I actually ask someone else to drive my car so I don't have to deal with the anxiety.

So for me to go to a busy city like San Jose and San Fransisco all by myself and drive everywhere, this caused a lot of panic for me. It was probably what I was the most worried about. When renting the car I added a GPS unit for an addition $8 a day. Doesn't matter how much it would have cost, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Not only did it take away 98% of my anxiety, it gave me a sense of empowerment and confidence. I would be hungry and type in the kind of food I was in the mood for and it would tell me exactly how to get to the closest location. The best part is if you miss a turn, no need to panic! It will recalculate your destination and help you get to where you need to go. I was able to travel to my hotel, 4 different schools, several fast food places, etc. with complete ease even though I had never been there before.

By far the most exhilarating day on my trip was when I had some time to go to San Fransisco to do some sight seeing. Never before would I have dared to drive an hour away to some unknown place all by myself but with my handy Garmin GPS unit, I located the Golden Gate Bridge and set off on my adventure. I drove around downtown San Fransisco on the unbelievable hilly roads with the beautiful scenery. I drove over the Golden Gate bridge twice, ate clam chowder while photographing the bridge, had a wild coyote follow me around, walked along Pier 39 and saw Alcatraz, ship yards, and so many other great things that I will forever remember as a liberating experience. I never would had that experience without the GPS unit. It was so windy and cold that it made taking pictures difficult. Plus there was a fire burning in northern California so the sky was covered in smoke, but it was still very cool.

Now back at home I want to buy one for my personal car to help me get around town better. Maybe I will be more daring to drive around Salt Lake and see some of the great things my home town has to offer.

P.S. For those interested in photography, I still need to edit these photos a bit but I wanted to get the post out.

This post is part of a series. You can read some of my other do's and don'ts here: Part 1, Part 2

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Thursday, September 6, 2007

Do's and Don'ts when Traveling with Anxiety: Part 2

DO know a bit about the culture you are going to.

I will never forget when my 6th grade Spanish teacher told me the most important thing you can remember in the Spanish language is "?Donde esta el bano?" Translation= Where is the bathroom? I used to laugh about that. Today I was driving around and I had to pee really bad! I stopped at a 7 eleven but they didn't have any restrooms. She told me to go to the restaurant next door. In there I asked the woman where the bathrooms were and she looked at me in confusion and said "No speak English." In San Jose, it appears most adults only speak Spanish. All of the children are becoming bilingual in school, but the parents are more behind. I am definately a minority in these parts. So back to the story, I smiled and I was able to ask her in Spanish my question. Its one of the only things I can remember to say and today it was very relieving!

DO put yourself first.

There have been many times on this trip where I was worried about being late, wondering if I could just call the whole thing off, etc. I learned that I needed to put myself first if I wanted to be able to do my job properly. If that means sleeping a little bit longer so I am more energetic to get things done quicker than so be it. If it means taking some breaks instead of working more because you don't feel good and you need the down time, than do it. Everyday that I have been gone has gotten better because I am allowing myself to be myself and put my needs first.

Many of the good tips I want to share require my PC so I can add some pictures and hopefully recordings. I only have a mac laptop with me out here so when I get home tomorrow night I will add some more posts on the topic.

This post is a part of a series. You can read more on the Do's an Don'ts of traveling with anxiety here: Part 1

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Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Do's and Don'ts when Traveling with Anxiety: Part 1

Today was my first day of travel on my business trip and I have sooo much to say from what worked and what didn't that I thought it might be best if I broke it up into Parts. So here is Part 1.

DON'T Assume you are in a good enough place to not properly prepare your mind beforehand.

You would think I would have learned my lesson from my last trip to Hawaii. But when my business trip that was scheduled in few weeks suddenly turned into a few days, all I could think about was packing, scheduling, finances, etc. I figured I would bring my medication and my mp3 player with my recordings of positive affirmations and that would be enough. WRONG! Unfortunately on the way to the airport I had my first full blown panic attack in 4 months. I am not sad about it because I know that every setback has a valuable lesson to be learned, even if it has to be shoved down your throat in my case. I think the second time is a charm, and I won't forget it for the next time. I should have properly prepared myself mentally no matter how good I thought I would be. I should have made time to plan things out in my head, tackle all of my fears and what if statements no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. I ended up throwing up on the side of the road on the way to the airport. Then I couldn't stop shaking for about an hour. I felt nauseas and tired all through my first flight and didn't start feeling normal until I was almost to San Jose. All I ate before now was a couple peanuts, a juice box, a bite of a granola bar and some gum. Then as soon as I got in I had to go to work and didn't get back until 9:00 pm. I am emotionally and physically exhausted, and I am lonely in my hotel room. Today overall sucked. Stay tuned for Parts 2 and on...

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