I've had a lot on my mind lately that I would like to post about, but being mid summer life is crazy with all sorts of fun. Including a trip to Miami to celebrate my 7th wedding anniversary with my hubby and 1 year old daughter. We leave tomorrow and I know that to have a successful trip I need to prepare beforehand. I have had minor morning anxiety this week because of this trip. We will not only take our daughter on her first plane ride (a 5 hour one at that) but we will also be gone for a whole week. So I know that this post is more important for me right now, and when I get back I can get out some other posts.
I am glad to go on this trip. I am glad because even though it will be really hard, I am challenging myself. I am also glad because I like doing fun things with my family. Growing up we didn't do very much together. Sure we were poor and a trip like this with 9 kids was out of the question, but even simple things like going to a park, or the Lake which was two blocks away, or walk, or even playing in the front yard or anything like that was just never done with my parents. I didn't think about it much then because that was my normal. But now I know that I want to make time to play together with my family. I think its important not only for creating memories, but the bonds you form as well. So this trip is about celebrating my family and all that we have accomplished over the last 7 years.
Also, I have been thinking a lot lately about happiness. A few months ago we splurged and purchased some used seadoos. I was feeling guilty about it because it was a lot of money for us for something that is luxury. I didn't want people to know about it because I thought they would think we were stupid for sure. And then to go on a week long vacation to Miami- in today's economy we should be saving all our pennies right?!?
However, I finally came to the conclusion that If you are an anxiety sufferer, soooo much of your time is spent stressing out and worrying and just not being very happy. I worry sometimes about the long term effects, how many years of my life I've stressed away. So I shouldn't feel bad about doing something that makes me happy. We have used the watercrafts so much already, not to mention they are paying for themselves as people are renting them from us and exchanging tradework to use them! We never expected that but its been really nice. But really I shouldn't need to justify any of it because it all makes me happy. And I should cherish the happy times, I DESERVE it. I deserve to be happy and so you do. So anytime we can do something to make us happy, I want to do it.
Ok as I have mentioned before, the point of this exersize is part of the 10 steps I do that helps to reduce my anxiety. Then I print this out and take it with me so I can reread it whenever I need to. So to try to have the happiest week I can, here are my concerns and my statements I want to remember if I start to get anxious (these statements are taken from my last trip because my concerns are the same):
- What if I am anxious the whole time? I will ruin the trip for Tyler.
Circumstances are what they are but I can choose my attitude toward them. I can be anxious and still have fun on this trip. I've done it before and I can do it again. I can handle this. Tyler loves me more than this trip. I love and accept myself the way I am. I respect and believe in myself apart from other's opinions.
- Trips make me anxious. I should be nervous about this trip.
This is overgeneralizing. Just because I have been anxious on trips in the past that doesn't set in stone that I will be anxious on this trip. I am learning to be calm. I'm responsible and in control of my life.
- What if I can't eat anything around Ty's brother? (he lives there and will be with us occasionally)
If I explain that I have not been feeling well and I don't have an appetite he will most likely understand. And if he doesn’t so what! I only have to eat for myself. It's important to take care of my own needs. I respect and believe in myself apart from others' opinions.
- What if people want to go do something and I am feeling too sick?
If I am not feeling well be honest and they will most likely understand. And if they don't, so what! You are here to have fun and not to please everyone else. Do what you want to do. It's important to take care of my own needs. Its ok to make time to rest and relax. I am willing to go forward with my life and try to better myself regardless of what others think.
- What if the baby has a hard time on the plane and cries the whole time and she is miserable?
If she is really struggling and nothing I am doing is helping her, then it will be miserable yes, but it will eventually end.
Also, I want to mention that I do read all the emails and comments that I get- every single one. I may not respond to them all because of time (I work part time and am a full time mommy), but I do read and appreciate them all! So keep'em coming. Also, sometimes I will read one with plans to respond, but then it gets lower on my list and it slips through the cracks. So if you are waiting for a response and haven't heard one I apologize. Send it again and I will get right on it.
I hope everyone can celebrate the happy moments in their lives and really cherish them. Remember, you deserve it!