Saturday, August 23, 2008

Pretty Good Reason for my Absence

I want to apologize for being MIA the last couple months, but I think I have a pretty good reason for it. My little girl was born on July 14th and my life has been turned topsy-turvy upside down ever since. I am sorry I haven't been replying to emails like I usually do or posting. I think that now things are starting to settle down as I start to get the hang of being a parent and hopefully I can get back into the blogging swing of things. For those that are interested she was 7 lbs. even and 18.5 inches long.

I was really worried before she came how my anxiety would be after the birth when my hormones were all out of it. Honestly the very day she was born I remember feeling extremely anxious about eating the hospital food, especially with all the guests around. But I made it through without any panic attacks and I haven't had too many issues since then. I guess nursing probably helps my appetite.

A new anxiety has snuck into my life. Anytime I need to leave the house with her I get this twinge of nervousness like something bad will happen if we go. I have no clue why it bothers me but it does. I have tried to ignore it and I go out anyway because I know its important to not give into the fear. Its been easier the more I do it, but the first few times were kinda nerve racking. I will sit in the back seat with her if I am not alone, but if I am driving I am worried she will spit up and choke on it and I won't know or I will be unprepared to handle some eating/pooping/crying catastrophe wherever we are off to. I am sure this is somewhat normal, right? I am also anxious when other people are holding her. I just worry for some reason even though there is no reason to. Any other new parents experience the same thing? So now I am waiting for a sense of normalcy to return to my life. I start work next week and that is going to introduce a whole new set of problems to worry about! I am going to attempt to work from home and take care of her at the same time. So my plate will be pretty full.

So again, I apologize for not being around, and I will try to get to everyone's unanswered questions and emails in the very near future. I hope everyone is doing well!


Anxiety Girl said...

Your baby is beautiful! Congratulations! I found that my hormones with breastfeeding really helped, especially as time goes on. All that oxytocin can help to keep you and your baby relaxed. The worry about going out & worrying that something bad will happen is totally normal. I think part of it is a learning curve - this is a new job and role for you - and part of it's that Mama Bear hormone, prolactin, that is there to keep you vigilant and protecting your young. :) Have you read "Operating Instructions" by Anne Lamott yet? It's a great postpartum book. Take good care of yourself and congratulations!

Anonymous said...

Aw, yay! Congratulations :)

Mike said...

Congratulations and welcome to the wonderful world of parenting!

Haven't commented in a looong time, but I still keep your blog on my RSS feed list!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the birth of your baby girl. I can relate 100% to the fear you have about your baby's safety. I have a two year old son and I am still worried for him on a regular basis.

Although this general worry will not subside (parents instinct) it is great to hear that you have not given in to your fears and anxiety. Hang in there!


Dr. Deb said...

WOW. What a cutie!!!!!!!

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