What is RSS? How to Stay Up to Date with The Reality of Anxiety

Explanation taken from Problogger

What is RSS?

Do you want to keep up to date with the latest posts on The Reality of Anxiety?

I have a number of ways that you can subscribe to this site and receive updates. The main one that my readers use is my RSS feed.

RSS is a technology that is being used by millions of web users around the world to keep track of their favorite websites.

In the ‘old days’ of the web to keep track of updates on a website you had to ‘bookmark’ websites in your browser and manually return to them on a regular basis to see what had been added.

The problems with bookmarking

• You as the web surfer had to do all the work
• It can get complicated when you are trying to track many websites at once
• You miss information when you forget to check your bookmarks
• You end up seeing the same information over and over again on sites that don’t update very often

RSS Changes Everything

What if you could tell a website to let you know every time that they update? In a sense, this is what RSS does for you.

RSS flips things around a little and is a technology that provides you with a method of getting relevant and up to date information sent to you for you to read in your own time. It saves you time and helps you to get the information you want quickly after it was published.

RSS stands for ‘Really Simple Syndication’. Many people describe it as a ‘news feed’ that you subscribe to.

It’s like subscribing to a magazine that is delivered to you periodically but instead of it coming in your physical mail box each month when the magazine is published it is delivered to your ‘RSS Reader’ every time your favorite website updates.

How RSS actually technically works is probably a lesson for another day but the key today is for you to understand why it’s good and how to use it.

Let me say right up front that I’m not the most technically savvy person - but even I can use RSS. At first I found it a little strange to make the change from bookmarking to RSS but I found that when I started that I just couldn’t stop.

How to Use RSS

Get an RSS Reader - The first thing you’ll want to do if you’re getting into reading sites via RSS is to hook yourself up with an RSS Feed Reader.

There are many feed readers going around with a variety of approaches and features - however a good place to start is with a couple of free and easy to use web based ones like Google Reader and Bloglines. Either one will do if you’re starting out (I use Google’s Homepage Reader) - as I say there are many others to choose from but to get started either of these are fairly easy to use and will help you work out the basics of RSS.

Both of these feed readers work a little like email. As you subscribe to feeds you’ll see that unread entries from the sites you’re tracking will be marked as bold. As you click on them you’ll see the latest update and can read it right there in the feed reader. You are given the option to click through to the actual site or move onto the next unread item - marking the last one as ‘read’.

The best way to learn how to use either Google Reader or Bloglines is to simply subscribe to some feeds and give it a go. Both have helpful help sections to get you up and running.

Note: other options to tracking websites that you might already be familiar with include using pages like MyYahoo, MyGoogle and MyMSN.

Find Some Feeds to Subscribe to - there are two places to look for a site’s feed:

1. On the Site
2. In Your Browser

On Site Subscription
Over the last few years you may have noticed a lot of little buttons and widgets appearing on your favorite sites and blogs. Little orange buttons, ‘counters’ with how many ‘readers a blog has, links called RSS, XML, ATOM and many more.

They come in all shapes and sizes. Here are a few you might have seen:

There are plenty more - but any time you see any of these buttons or anything like them it means that the site you are viewing almost certainly has a feed that you can subscribe to. In most cases it’s as simple as either copying and pasting the link associated with the button into your RSS Reader or clicking the button and following the instructions to subscribe using the feed reader of your choice.

Browser Subscription

Many internet browsers now have the ability to find and subscribe to RSS feeds built right into them.

When you surf to a site you can usually tell if it has an RSS feed by looking in the right hand side of address bar where you type in the site’s URL. You will see a little orange box like the picture at the top of this post, or little RSS letters, or a similar icon.

Click that and you’ll be locating The Reality of Anxiety’s RSS feed.

Other modern browsers will have similar icons.

To quickly and easily subscribe by clicking these icons you’ll want to set up your browser to do it with your feed reader of choice as by default they will probably subscribe you using the in-browser reader. You can do this by going to the ‘preferences’ to your browser and choosing ‘Google Reader’ or ‘Bloglines’ etc as your feed reader.

Once you’ve done this and have subscribed to a few feeds you’ll begin to see unread items in your Feed Reader and you can start reading.

Don’t want to Use an RSS Reader? Email is an Option

If the above explanation all just seems a little too complicated for you then please don’t worry. Many sites also enable you to subscribe to RSS feeds via a more familiar medium - Email.

Here at The Reality of Anxiety I know that not everyone is into the RSS thing so at the top of my right hand sidebar there is a field where you can enter your email address and get a daily email with a summary of our latest posts. You can unsubscribe at any time and your email will be kept private and not used for any other purposes than to send these daily updates.

Further Reading on RSS

• How to Explain RSS the Oprah Way
• Getting Started with RSS
• Beginners Guide to RSS

Internal Cleansing: Confrontation and Assertiveness

Lately my life has been filled with confrontation. This is new territory for me. Usually I run from it like the plague. I would rather bottle up any frustrations and deal with those consequences than have it out with someone. Why? Because I hate how awkward it is and I want everyone to like me, and I cave under pressure. I really struggle with defending my thoughts when going into battle. It’s easier to just keep the peace.

However lately that hasn’t been an option. I have gone into battle and I hope good has come out of it.

A given example is at my work. This morning I had to confront my boss about micromanaging me. I was not looking forward to it but I knew if I didn’t say anything, it would continue and I would slowly lose any power that I have over my department. I don't want to lose my job, or submit my team to being told what to do by him instead of me because its confusing for them. Plus it tells me that he doesn't trust me to do my job. Feathers have been ruffled.

So I came clean and told him how I felt. I told him I felt like he was doing my job and that it I appreciate input and feedback, but that he should let me handle my department instead of holding meetings without me there, giving out assignments, etc. He was defensive and tried to invalidate my concerns and justify his actions. I tried to stick up for myself, being strong and staying with my convictions. Maybe I didn’t do the best job, I am very new at this, but the point is that I did it. I stood up for myself and for when I felt I was being treated wrongly.

Its common for people with Social Anxiety to not be assertive. However, if you just allow things to stay bottled up, they fester and boil until it becomes toxic. And then you wonder why you are so sad, tired, anxious, stressed, etc.

I want to know about your success stories about being assertive or confrontational (when appropriate) and how it helped you in your life, so please share!

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Forgiveness: How to Make Peace with your Past and Get on with Your Life

To search inside click here

Sorry it has been so long since I’ve posted. There have been some personal issues that have been taking up much of my spare time.

I am reading an amazing book that I can’t put down titled Forgiveness: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Get on with Your Life by Dr. Sidney B. Simon and Suzanne Simon.

It discusses how forgiveness isn’t a gift that you give to someone who hurt you, but a gift you give to yourself. Many physical stressors in our lives occur due to the fact that we are holding onto grudges and other heavy baggage that weighs us down because we feel that by forgiving we are somehow giving in or letting them get away with it or that we are not validating our feelings.

I haven’t finished it yet but I feel like I can relate so well with the words so I thought I would share with you a quick summary and some of my favorite entries so far.

What Forgiveness is Not

• Forgiveness is not forgetting.
• Forgiveness is not condoning.
• Forgiveness is not a form of self- sacrifice.
• Forgiveness is not absolution.
• Forgiveness is not a clear cut one time decision.

What Forgiveness Is

• Forgiveness is a by-product of an ongoing healing process.
• Forgiveness is an internal process.
• Forgiveness is a sign of positive self esteem.
• Forgiveness is letting go of the intense emotions attached to incidents from our past.
• Forgiveness is recognizing that we no longer need our grudges and resentments, out hatred and self pity.
• Forgiveness is no longer wanting to punish the people who hurt us.
• Forgiveness is accepting that nothing we do to punish them will heal us.
• Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing old wounds.
• Forgiveness is moving on.

No matter what the wound was caused from or who caused it, the healing process has stages that we all go through:

1. Denial
2. Self-blame
3. Victim
4. Indignation
5. Survivor
6. Integration

This book goes into all these stages in more detail.

The author talks about her battle with forgiveness and why she chose to forgive. She said it wasn’t because that was the “Christian” thing to do, but rather “…because that is what I needed to do to feel whole, to like myself, and to rid myself of the excess emotional baggage that was weighing me down and holding me back. I wanted peace of mind, and I could not have it as long as I was stymied by unfinished business from my past and expending most of my energy nursing my unhealed wounds. I was not happy with myself or my life. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could do more and be more than I was. And so I chose to heal.”

I highly recommend EVERYONE to go rent it from their public library because EVERYONE has been hurt at one time or another by someone whether it is parents, children, spouses, lovers, friends, or kids when we were little, the list can go on. We have all felt disappointment, rejection, abandonment, ridicule, humiliation, betrayal, deception, and abuse in one form or another. We all deserve to do it for ourselves so that we can be whole, and we can be healed.

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Anxiety of Jury Selection Should be a Reality TV Show

photo by Eric Hamilton

Today I had to go to the downtown courthouse to fulfill my civic duty and potentially serve on a jury. For me, this was a dream come true. I am a big fan of the legal world and love to see it in action. I really wanted to be on the jury. When I got to the courthouse I was about twenty minutes early and so I sat down along with everyone else and immediately I was struck with panic. I tried to take deep breaths and that helped a little. I took some Clonozepam and worried that I wouldn't have enough time for it to kick in. I watched the minutes counting down and realized that if I needed to go to the restroom to let the panic explode, I could be late for the beginning and I didn't know what that would do. I didn't want to miss anything. So I pulled out my lappy and pulled up my/this blog- The Reality of Anxiety, and clicked on the label "Self Talk." I scanned the articles and read positive affirmations and similar situations and what I did to talk myself out of my panic. I opened up a word doc and typed as quickly as I could the following:

"What am I telling myself to make me feel this way?

I am all alone and that is scary. What if I get sick and I make myself late? What if I can’t eat breakfast or lunch with all of these strangers? What if I am sick all day long? What if people judge me? What if me getting sick makes them send me home?

Positive Affirmation:

I respect and believe in myself apart from others opinions.

What if the worst case scenario happened?

If I were to have a full blown panic attack where I have to leave and go to the restroom, and if it makes me late, or makes it so they send me home, I will still be just fine. My life will go on and I will get over it.

First of all, look at all that you have already accomplished today. I found my way on where to go when the GPS was telling me something else. I made it here on time, all by myself. I can do anything I put my mind to. I am strong, capable and secure. I do what I want to do no matter what anyone thinks about it, and I don’t care what they think.

I have already prevented a full blown attack by using deep breathing techniques and managing my negative self talk, and I am starting to feel better already. I feel myself calming down."

It worked. I was able to calm my thoughts and my breathing and I was able to then put the laptop away and get out some reading material and focus on that to further my distraction. Why my anxiety flared up so bad so quickly this morning I am not sure, but I am glad I was able to manage it.

I was so excited afterwards to see how it all works. I realized that excitement is very similar to anxiety, but on a much smaller scale. I went through a grueling QA session and tried to answer as best I could to boost my chances of getting on. And then the question was given that I knew if I didn't tell my experience in that situation, I would be lying under oath. I didn't want to say it but I did. The case was a malpractice civil suit where a patient is suing a hospital. The question was if any of my family had any medical attention that caused them to have any complications from that medical help. I happen to have a sister in law who passed away from taking her prescription medication that was dosed out to her by her doctor. I knew the moment I said "passed away" that there was no way they would put me on their jury even though I really wanted to and I could have been fair and impartial.The defense lawyers even winced when I said it. But many others seemed to have their own personal history or family history that could rule them out as well, so I remained hopeful.

After the lawyers struck people off the list, the suspense mounted. I was anxious, but not anything above a normal amount for this type of situation.

Then the moment of truth arrived. They were going to announce the jury. I could feel the suspense, the excitement, the hope, and the fear. I thought to myself, "Someone should make a reality tv show for the jury selection process." When they didn't call my name, I felt like I had been voted off the island, kicked out of the house, eliminated from the race, and had to take the walk of shame home. Those that were chosen might as well have been given a rose by the bailiff. I was pretty bummed.


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National Love Your Body Day

Today is National Love Your Body Day. According to this website 80% of Women in the U.S. are dissatisfied with their appearance. The first day was celebrated back in Sept. 25, 1998.

So this morning I got up and did the works to celebrate today. Shower, shaving, tweezing, bleaching, styling, etc. I was thinking about what I would mention and realized that I had it all backwards. I was trying to be beautiful instead of already thinking I was. I think the most important thing is to realize is that today is a day to love your body NOW, the way it already looks. Its not a day to say, “because I love my body I am going to start that diet..." It's where you appreciate what you already have and celebrate YOU!

Dove has been doing a campaign for a long time on celebrating "real" beauty as opposed to what society tells us is beauty. Here are some of their videos. They are all short but have an awesome message.

Dove- Campaign For Real Beauty

Another video by Dove that is very interesting can be found here.

They have a ton more videos.

I recommend checking out this website for ideas on what you can do to help you "love your body"

So how will you celebrate?

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Successful Small Trip

Some of you may have noticed that I removed my last post. I apologize for the broken link to any subscribers. I had mentioned some gripes about work and accidentally left the company name in the post. A coworker found the post by googling the company name and so I thought it would be best to remove it before my company removed me!

Lets catch up. This weekend I took a trip to Vegas to watch a football game. Its tradition that we always go to the away game to Vegas and dress up like idiots for the game. Everyone stares at you and either cheers you on for being so gutsy or just stares in amazement.

This time when we went I wasn’t looking forward to it because I was worried about my anxiety flaring up and ruining the trip. Needless to say the morning of I took a little Clonozepam and it helped. When I felt anxious the next morning I just did what I wanted to do and didn’t force myself to do anything. I only ate what was comfortable. And I made it through panic attack free.

It was a fun little trip. Our team won (Go BYU!) and we had fun talking in the car. That’s one of those great things about road trips. You don’t have so many distractions and you can actually talk to each other. We talked about where we see ourselves in the future, what we want to accomplish, and even went on a tangent about if we killed someone how we would do it and how we would cover it up. So anyone reading this that knows me, if I am ever found deceased at an early age, check for poisoning!

Tomorrow is National Love Your Body Day. Sounds like a good excuse to pamper yourself to me!

World Mental Health Day

Today is World Mental Health Day as initiated the World Federation for Mental Health and has been celebrated annually since 1992. The theme for this year is "Mental health in a changing world: the impact of culture and diversity".

"Mental health is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.”

The culture you are surrounded in greatly determines the way in which you deal with your symptoms. However, mental health effects every country no matter where you live. According to the WHO website:

• Mental, neurological and behavioural disorders are common to all countries and cause immense suffering. People with these disorders are often subjected to social isolation, poor quality of life and increased mortality. These disorders are the cause of staggering economic and social costs.
• Hundreds of millions of people worldwide are affected by mental, behavioural, neurological and substance use disorders. For example, estimates made by WHO in 2002 showed that 154 million people globally suffer from depression and 25 million people from schizophrenia; 91 million people are affected by alcohol use disorders and 15 million by drug use disorders. A recently published WHO report shows that 50 million people suffer from epilepsy and 24 million from Alzheimer and other dementias.
• In addition to the above figures, many other disorders affect the nervous system or produce neurological sequelae. Projections based on a WHO study show that worldwide in 2005, 326 million people suffer from migraine; 61 million from cerebrovascular diseases; 18 million from neuroinfections or neurological sequelae of infections. Number of people with neurological sequelae of nutritional disorders and neuropathies (352 million) and neurological sequelae secondary to injuries (170 million) also add substantially to the above burden.
• About 877,000 people die by suicide every year.
• One in four patients visiting a health service has at least one mental, neurological or behavioural disorder but most of these disorders are neither diagnosed nor treated.
• Mental illnesses affect and are affected by chronic conditions such as cancer, heart and cardiovascular diseases, diabetes and HIV/AIDS. Untreated, they bring about unhealthy behaviour, non-compliance with prescribed medical regimens, diminished immune functioning, and poor prognosis.
• Cost-effective treatments exist for most disorders and, if correctly applied, could enable most of those affected to become functioning members of society.
• Barriers to effective treatment of mental illness include lack of recognition of the seriousness of mental illness and lack of understanding about the benefits of services. Policy makers, insurance companies, health and labour policies, and the public at large – all discriminate between physical and mental problems.
• Most middle and low-income countries devote less than 1% of their health expenditure to mental health. Consequently mental health policies, legislation, community care facilities, and treatments for people with mental illness are not given the priority they deserve.

As Dr. Deb says on her post on this topic,

“The goal of World Mental Health Day is to address stigma and to show that mental illness is neurobiological - not a scarlett letter with which to be ashamed or a weakness of someone's character. And this year's theme highlights the importance of culture and diversity among us all.”

I never heard about this until today. I am very excited to spread the word. Rather than regurgitate the entire post, I will just mention it briefly with a link. Awhile back I created a post called "Breaking the Stigma" that talks and shows some videos of some campaigns the United States and the UK are doing to help people become more aware of the support that is needed for friends and families suffering. There are links for places to donate or get more involved if interested.

I have known a few newlywed couples that have a situation where a mental illness is revealed such as depression or an eating disorder. Interestingly, the first thing the parents tell the spouse to do is to annul the marriage before they have any kids. This is shocking to me! That because you have a mental illness you are suddenly unworthy of being loved.

Any other mental health bloggers out there- I urge you to spread the word!

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