photo by Jakob Lodwick
Last night I dreamed that I was going to a family reunion and I was really nervous and anxious about "preforming" in front of my family. I woke up with my stomach all in knots and feeling anxious. I realized I was breathing pretty quickly so I tried to slow it down and take deep breaths.I fell back asleep only to have more bad dreams about my family. They weren't violent or super disturbing like some of my dreams are so thats good, but I hope it doesn't make me have anticipatory anxiety for the next time I go home.
An update to my earlier blog about morning anxiety: I did get a new bed- I went from a Queen to a California King and I love it. That means new bedding too. That hasn't been enough to stop the nightmares though. I do a pretty good job of getting around 8 hours of sleep a night. So there has to be something else I can do to make them stop. I'll have to work on it some more.
This morning I had a bad scare. I was booting up the computer in my bedroom when I heard the doorbell ring. Normally I answer but I was home alone, and there have been warnings on the radio of daytime home robberies raising in our area. What they are doing is knock on doors and if someone answers they act like they have the wrong house and if no one answers then they try the doorknob and go in. Everyone that I could think of that would be stopping by should have been at church so I figured it was probably a door to door salesman (they are stopping by ALL the time in the summer) or someone like that. So I ignored the door. Plus my two dogs bark like crazy so I figured they are a pretty good reason for robbers to go to the next house instead of try mine. So after a good 5 minutes, the doorbell rang again and I started to get nervous. So I went to my closet to put some clothes on and debated opening it or not. Suddenly I hear the door open and someone came inside. I cowered in my closet and didn't know if I should close the door and hide in there or if I should confront whoever it was. I racked my brain trying to figure out who it could be and scrambled to put a shirt on. I heard the person calling my dogs by name and putting them in the backyard. I didn't recognize the voice and wasn't really comforted that they knew my dogs name. I went out to see who it was and it was my brother in law that came to work on my basement. I didn't think he would have come because he is an avid church goer and I thought thats where he would have been. I was so scared when someone came in. But I was relieved it was a family member. I guess I should lock the door when I am home alone in the future.
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