So this may sound a little cheesy to some, but I have been thinking a lot lately about doing a spotlight on each of the Sub personalities that people with anxiety suffer from to an overwhelming degree (the Worrier, the Perfectionist, the Victim, the Critic). They may appear different to you in your head when you think about each of them but I am going to describe how I see them in me.
Today I want to focus on the Worrier since that is the strongest sub personality that I struggle with.
My worrier is small and weak but very persuasive. She has dark circles because she hardly sleeps and wide bulging bloodshot eyes that skitter back and forth as if they are fueled with electricity. Her hair is frazzled and unkempt and she has a large wart on the end of her nose (Worry Wart, get it?). She can’t sit still for very long. Paranoia consumes her. She lives in a corner where she can keep her back to a wall and she has built a thick concrete wall in front of her that is hard if not impossible to break through because the world is a very scary place to her and she can’t trust anyone. Her heart is overworked, tirelessly pumping adrenaline through her system. She’s constantly rambling nonsense about the future, things that haven’t even happened yet, and fully believes in her own prophecies.
As I think about her I think, what a nutcase! I don’t want to be anything like that! But sadly she creeps into my day to day routine whispering her prophecies in my ear and persuading me that they are somehow true. I know that there are some instances where we should worry as a survival instinct, maybe walking home in the dark or if we hear a noise at night to worry it could be someone breaking in. If we aren’t cautious in these real threatening situations than our survival can obviously be temporary. But it shouldn’t overpower or engulf us everyday to where we create phobias and avoidance. I hope I can somehow cage my Worrier parasite and only call on her when there is a good reason. The more I learn about her the more I can easily point her out when she comes around and the easier it is to tell her to go away.
This was a really fun exercise. I’d be interested in hearing about what anyone else’s Worrier looks or acts like.