Friday, May 22, 2009

Tips for Traveling with Anxiety- Trip # 4

If you have read the blog for awhile, you know that I get extremely anxious about traveling. I didn't use to be this way but after a few trips where I was panic stricken the whole time I have developed anticipatory anxiety about vacations. How sad, I know, since vacations are supposed to be a relaxing getaway.

This Memorial Day Weekend we have a cousins reunion in St. George which is about 3-4 hours away from home. I know that I shouldn't be anxious about the trip but it has really been stressing me out. We will be gone for about two days. We have never been away from home with the baby for that long.

So learning from my previous setbacks, I know that success will greatly increase for me if I properly prepare ahead of time. Preparing means following my 10 step Mental Exercise, but here is a shorter version:

  1. Writing out all of my fears no matter how silly or absurd they may sound.
  2. Writing out a gameplan for what will happen in the worst case scenario.
  3. Writing out positive affirmations to counter my fears.
  4. Print out the post and keep it in my wallet where I can access it whenever I need to. I plan to pull it out every morning and reread it for reinforcement.

This worked well for me on my last trip to Vegas so I hope it will work again.

Ok so here goes:

What am I telling myself to make me feel this way?

  • What if I am anxious the whole time? I will ruin the trip for Tyler and all the cousins and my aunt will think I am weird.
  • Trips make me anxious. I should be nervous about this trip.
  • What if I can't eat anything and I offend the cook?
  • What if people want to go do something and I am feeling too sick?
  • What if the baby has a hard time on the car ride down or sleeping and she is miserable?
As I am writing these out I am noticing that most of them are "What if" statements which is the type of negative self talk that promotes anxiety, especially anticipatory anxiety. This type of self talk is the one that plagues me the most. Edmund J. Bourne says,

"...the Worrier's dominant tendencies include 1) anticipating the worst, 2) overestimating the odds of something bad or embarrassing happening, and 3) creating grandiose images of potential failure or catastrophe. The Worrier is always vigilant, watching with uneasy apprehension for any small symptoms or signs of trouble."

He also says the best coping strategy for dealing with the Worrier is by writing out positive coping statements.

  • What if I am anxious the whole time? I will ruin the trip for Tyler and all the cousins and my aunt will think I am weird.
Circumstances are what they are but I can choose my attitude toward them. I can be anxious and still have fun on this trip. I've done it before and I can do it again. I can handle this. Tyler loves me more than this trip. I love and accept myself the way I am. I respect and believe in myself apart from other's opinions.
  • Trips make me anxious. I should be nervous about this trip.
This is overgeneralizing. Just because I have been anxious on trips in the past that doesn't set in stone that I will be anxious on this trip. I am learning to be calm. I'm responsible and in control of my life.
  • What if I can't eat anything and I offend the cook?
If I explain to the cook that I have not been feeling well and I don't have an appetite they will most likely understand. And if they don't, so what! I only have to eat for myself. It's important to take care of my own needs. I respect and believe in myself apart from others' opinions.
  • What if people want to go do something and I am feeling too sick?
If I am not feeling well be honest and they will most likely understand. And if they don't, so what! You are here to have fun and not to please everyone else. Do what you want to do. It's important to take care of my own needs. Its ok to make time to rest and relax. I am willing to go forward with my life and try to better myself regardless of what others think.
  • What if the baby has a hard time on the car ride down or sleeping and she is miserable?
If she is really struggling we can always come home. We can take rest stops and get her out and play.


What if the worst case scenario happened?

If the worst case scenario happened and I was severly anxious, I could take deep breaths and if needed, a clonazepam to help take the worst of it away. If I am still really anxious I could leave the room, collect my thoughts by reading my positive affirmations and taking deep breaths, and return when I feel better. If it won't go away and I am miserable, we could always come home.


Preparing like this may seem time consuming but for me, just knowing that I have a plan in place helps to subside those what if feelings because now I know what I will do if it happens.

We are leaving tonight or in the morning. I will let you know how it goes!

9 comments:

Claude Crépeau said...

Dear Aimée,

nice training for this trip. I should try that too. I am going to Italy for a week tomorrow for work related business. I tend to get anxious before leaving. Some times after I have left I get better, some times I don't. I will work on a preparation like ours. Hope you enjoy your time away !

amy said...

Aww, I hope it goes fabulous! I understand exactly what you are saying...you're doing a great job at working through the difficult times :)

I just went to Cancun for 8 days a month ago and was worried to pieces...I remained a little anxious the whole time, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle and I had a pretty good time!

Can't wait to hear how it went!

Take Care...

Anonymous said...

just stumbled on your blog and this entry is all too familiar to me. i avoided a trip this weeekend due to anxiety. travel paralyzes me especially since my daughter was born. having to care for a little person you can't predict or control can really heighten anxiety! Failing at having fun and having other people witness my neurosis (and judge me for it) its all too much. and so annoying that i even care. great tips for coping though...i will try them next time i venture.

Anxiety Girl said...

I hope your trip is going smoothly. I hear you. We just got back from a week away in the virgin islands (first time away from our 3 girls in 9 years!) and it was mostly amazing with moments of high anxiety. I'm so glad I went, though, & as Amy said above, it was all manageable. Be gentle with yourself - postpartum hormones might be contributing to your return of symptoms, too.

Anonymous said...

As anxious humans, we try and plan for the worst, its in our nature, its what we do, like the caveman when they anticipated a large animal was going to eat them, they planned and that is how us humans evolved. Please can you try this for me though, when you have a what if thought about going away or any negative thought try telling yourself ''shit happens'' and it'l keep happeneing again and again, nothing is set in stone, at some point you are going to have to admit defeat and when you do, you WILL realise that nothing is quite as bad as you first anticipated it to be. =) good luck

Jade said...

I just discovered your blog, and I'm so excited about it. I've already read through about 20 of your entries and related to pretty much all of them — this post in particular. I got myself worked up ONE time before a trip, and now, I get myself worked up every time before a trip. GARR! What a silly little cycle we've created for ourselves. I can tell myself everything is going to be just fine, but it seems as if I have to put myself through hell before I realize, "Hey, all that worrying I just did was pointless because everything was just fine." Have you ever listened to Dr. Claire Weekes' audio book "Pass Through Panic" (sorry if you mentioned it elsewhere, I'm new here)? It's terrific and really helps break down the "worry cycle" and how to gain greater control over thoughts. Anyway, I'm excited to read more here. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. If everyone talked more openly about their troubles, we'd have such a warmer world to live in. Much love and wellness to us all.

kkl23 said...

I came across your blog recently on a basic google search. I just started writing my own blog on living with anxiety. I have traveling issues as well, but fight them to explore Europe while we are stationed overseas. I can't wait to dive into your blog and read your story!

http://anxiousafwife.blogspot.it/

Blog PathToYourself said...

Is this subject connected with your professional field or is it more about your hobbies and free time?

Aimée said...

I have had this anxiety for both kind of traveling, business and personal, but I use the same technique each time.

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