Today I went to see my Counselor, Therapist, Social Worker, whatever you want to call her. It was nice to talk to someone who could understand how I felt and was willing to listen to me. She made a few good points but it all really boils down to me having to learn to not worry about what other people think of me. If I can accept myself the way I am and not worry if other people accept me or not, than it will help reduce my anxiety attacks.So how do you do it? How do you live your life and not care if people are spreading rumors and talking about you behind your back? And why do I care so much? I'm a people pleaser, but I have to learn to hold my head up high and accept and love myself. I found an awesome article on this subject that was an eye opener:
"Depending on your emotional balance you may often find yourself caring or worrying about things that you feel are beyond your influence. By this I mean other people, their thoughts about you, personal possession that are of value to you or even your own personal growth in various areas. What other people think of you is something that so many people today have a problem finding an inner balance to. How do you advance your personal growth without having to face the resistance of what others think of you and your pursuits?The first step in this process is to clearly separate caring and worrying from each other. Worrying is in the negative spectrum of thoughts/emotions while caring is in the positive spectrum of thoughts/emotions. The path to easier personal growth depends on understanding this vital first step. You should not stop caring about what others think of you! You should stop worrying about it. The difference in nuance is of importance since all personal growth involves gradually shifting your reality towards the positive polarity of things, whatever area it is you’re focusing on.
This is why it’s so important that you first reach the awareness of what the words you are using really mean. Otherwise your conscious mind and your subconscious mind may build up conflicts that cause you to crash (getting ill, procrastinating, experiencing fear). So acknowledge first that all worry is of negative impact to you and all caring is of positive impact to your life.
Why is this separation crucial? It’s because of the law of attraction. You create the reality you think of. You will end up manifesting that which you worry of happening. If you worry that others think negative thoughts about you, then in reality it is already true that they do. The only way you can measure this notion is in your own mind and with this scenario in action, worrying truly creates what you worry about. That’s why the second step is eliminating all worry from your reality.
Stop worrying about your home when you’re on vacation, your child when (s)he is taken care of by others and what other people think of you. You can’t influence these matters directly, only indirectly. And at this point we’re starting to borderline with the caring instead of the worrying aspect of things.
The third step is to add more care into your reality. As I mentioned earlier you should care about your possessions, the people around you and what they are thinking of you. It is important since because it is in the positive spectrum, it improves your life and reality. Here’s how to do it.
Ask around what people think of you and your endeavours. Ask what they think of your new business idea, about trying to quit smoking, about setting goals for the coming year, about your current relationships or about your financial situation. Listen to their input and care about their thoughts, insights and perspectives over an issue. Make a mental note about their level of success and awareness within it. You might come to the conclusion that person A is good in raising your compassion toward helping people, but lowering your courage to start a business. And then person B might raise your will to start exercising and eating healthy but lower your interest in spiritual and intuitive guidance and methods. Then all you need to do is turn to the right people for the right thoughts that are in your interest. How can people think negative thoughts about you if you respect them, value their knowledge and want to learn from them? You’ve shown for yourself and others that you care about their thoughts as well as your own growth. It’s your task to figure out whose advice to follow and whose advice not to follow. It will be easier and easier the more you raise your own understanding and awareness of living a prosperous life.
The fourth step is grasping the link between care and worry. The less you care, the more you worry. And the more you care, the less you worry. Those who worry the most seem to care the least, while those who care the most seem to worry the least. This is the step of taking action. If you worry about your personal finances, it’s time to start caring about them. If you worry about your health, it’s time to start caring about it. If you worry what others think of you, start caring about their thoughts. And behold, your worries vanish into thin air once you’ve taken care of these issues.
I care about my own personal development in health, relationships, success, wealth, inner balance and purpose just as I care for your personal development in these areas. With so much caring, how can there be room for worry about what others think of me? If you worry that others think of you in a negative way it quite simply means that you don’t care enough about yourself. Let that sentence sink into you with an open mind. Happiness and caring dissipates worry. Caring is being proactive while worrying is a feeling of guilt for not caring enough in the first place."
Posted by The Probabilist @ http://www.theprobabilist.com/caring-and-worrying/
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