Then after getting my epidural, the rest was a piece of cake. But I learned just how unprepared I was for those first few hours.
Now that I know better, whenever a small contraction starts I have immediately gone into panic mode.
Yesterday I went to the doctor and they checked me and told me that I could go pretty much anyday. Last night, I had several contractions while trying to go to sleep. I started shaking uncontrollably. I had a hard time catching my breath or my thoughts. I was petrified that I would soon experience the hard excruciating labor pains that I did the first time around.
I realize I am also worried about not being in control of the situation. I tried to schedule an induction because that would help me feel more in control of the when and how, but unfortunately my doctor will only do those after 39 weeks and she doesn't think I will last that long. I scheduled one anyway as a plan B, but I know that I am going to have to figure this out for the surprise middle of the night scenario.
Because I am feeling extreme anticipatory anxiety I know I need to sort out all of my thoughts just like I would for any other trigger and hopefully that will help me. My plan is to research more about breathing techniques (related to labor) that I can use as well as some helpful coping statements I can refer to to help control my thoughts.
I have attached my exercise I did to help address my fears. I plan to print it out and keep it in my hospital bag so I can refer to it when I need it.
What am I telling myself to make me feel this way?
I am worried that I will be in a lot of physical pain and not feel in control of the situation. I worry that I will panic and not be able to breathe or have my thoughts in order.
What if the worst case scenario happened? What can I do?
If the labor pains start and they are super strong and I am hurting and feel the panic and I start to feel out of control, I will still be okay. Tyler will be there to help me through whatever is going on. He can drive me to the hospital and even carry me if needed.
I can take positive affirmations with me to help me control my thoughts and do some breathing exercises to help me with my breath. Even if these don’t stop the panic it can help me to know that I am proactive about taking care of myself.
“I choose to control my thoughts.”
“I can accomplish anything I set my mind on.”
“This may be hard, but I can do this. I CAN DO this!”
“Circumstances are what they are, but I can choose my attitude toward them.”