The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne lists a quick explanation of what Self Talk is and how it works:
- "It is so automatic and subtle you don't notice it or the effect it has on your moods and feelings.
- It appears in telegraphic form- one short word or image ("Oh no!) contains a whole series of thoughts, memories, or associations.
- Anxious self-talk is typically irrational but almost always sounds like the truth.
- Negative self-talk perpetuates avoidance.
- Self-talk can initiate or aggravate a panic attack.
- Negative self-talk is a series of negative bad habits. (You have to reprogram your brain to say helpful uplifting confident talk to remove the negative thoughts)"
Recognizing that you are doing this is a huge step towards learning to manage your anxiety. The next huge step is successfully slowing your thoughts down, analyzing them, and then reprogramming your mind to think differently. This will greatly reduce the amount and size of panic attacks you have. It helps me stop panic attacks dead in their tracks probably about 80% of the time.
So here is the exercise:
I have many posts where I outline this exercise for myself to help me cope with whatever panic attack I may be having at that time. It is extremely helpful for me to go back and read them when the same situation appears again in the future. I encourage you to read a couple to get some ideas or more details on how to fill this out.
- When you feel panic coming on, take some deep breaths.
- Ask yourself, “What am I telling myself to make me feel this way?”
- Write out any automatic thoughts (fears, concerns) that are making you feel panic.
- Then write out or ask yourself, “What if the worst case scenario happened? What would I do?”
- Then write out a rational response or game plan as to what you could do if the worst did happen.
- Then take each of your fears or concerns you wrote out and challenge their truthfulness. Try replacing that thought with a positive counter statements and/or positive affirmations:
- Ex: WORRY- “What if people around me see my anxiety and judge me?”
- POSITIVE COUNTERSTATEMENT- “I am willing to go forward with my life and try to better myself regardless of what others think.”
- POSTIVE AFFIRMATION- “I respect and believe in myself apart from other's opinions.”
- Repeat those affirmations or counterstatements over and over while taking deep breaths.
- If you find yourself not believing them, realize that these can also be considered goals. Place “I am learning” in front of them. Ex: “I am learning to respect and believe in myself apart from others opinions.”
- If your mind is still racing, choose one that you are working on and write it out ten times on paper (printing not cursive) so that you can really concentrate on the words.
- By this time you should be feeling calmer, or at least the symptoms aren’t as severe as they were. You can then follow up any more anxiety with medication as needed, or by temporarily leaving the situation if possible and then returning when you feel better.
Following these steps takes practice and patience. But it’s worth it. There are many websites that have lists of positive affirmations. Here are a few:
- bmindful.com
- coping.org
- all the ones I list here at The Reality of Anxiety
At one point I even taped them around my house so that I could see them often. At work I have little symbols or stickers that have hidden meaning behind them to help remind me of them. This exercise has probably been the most effective thing I have introduced in my life to help me manage panic attacks. It doesn’t always work. Sometimes it all happens so fast that its too late when I try to slow things down, but if you start doing this the moment you feel a twinge of anxiety, then it will help you keep it at just that level of intensity.
Edmund J. Bourne further says, “Cultivating the habit of countering [negative self talk] is one of the most significant steps you can take in dealing with all kinds of anxiety as well as panic attacks.”
There is so much more you can learn about the art of countering your negative self talk. I encourage everyone to find some that can help you in your life and remember them when the panic comes.
I would love to hear if anyone else has used this type of exercise and whether it helped them or not.
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22 comments:
Negative self talk is my forte. I find this exercise very intriguing, I'll have to try this next time I'm having a heart attack.
Leila you crack me up. Its hard to tell if you are joking or being serious sometimes! Either way, thanks for the comment. I hope you have a great heart attack free day.
Having suffered from anxiety all of my life, I must say that this suggestion is a time trap. Really you should be working on figuring out triggers for anxiety attacks and diffusing their affect rather than spending day after day of your life figuring out the "worst case scenario." If ever there were a way to get caught in a negative thought pattern, doomsday planning is the way to do that. Sorry, but my advice is: don't take this bad advice!!
After happening upon this post last night, I applied a sort of cliffs notes version of the steps today when I was feeling really anxious about going alone to a get-together at an unfamiliar location full of unfamiliar people. I was sitting in my car outside, silently freaking out, and then I remembered (some of) the suggestions mentioned here, and wow, did this help me out! I actually made it inside, and things went smoothly. Just wanted to say thanks for writing so openly about this stuff... it's appreciated.
I just found this blog today, and everything I have been reading is everything that I feel EXACTLY. It's nice to know I'm not alone, I hope to try to follow some of these plans and apply them to my own life. Thank you!
Thats a very good and informative article.
Thanks for the post
most of the time i also have this kind of panic that diverge myself from the work. i find your writings are more working on me than any others.
If you can nip the panic attack in the bud a majority of the time by counteracting the negative self talk than kudos to you!!! That's a great accomplishment! I agree for many people it happens so fast that the first step in gaining control over the anxiety attack usually requires breathing exercises, then may be followed by affirmations or attending to the automatic negative thoughts.
Tom
Every journey begins with a single step...
I am very upset with this anxiety and I will use steps specified here in this blog to keep this silly anxiety away and keep myself cool.
thanks
I was sitting in my car outside, silently freaking out, and then I remembered (some of) the suggestions mentioned here, and wow, did this help me out! I actually made it inside, and things went smoothly. Just wanted to say thanks for writing so openly about this stuff... it's
Your 10 steps are certainly helpful to anyone who suffers with anxiety and panic attacks.
Positive thoughts and having a sense of control is a great step in the right direction.
Even writing comments like this makes me nervous...just in case a negative comment, (like the one above) is thrown back at me.
Thanks for information
I would like to address the anonymous comment above:
Having suffered from anxiety all of my life, I must say that this suggestion is a time trap. Really you should be working on figuring out triggers for anxiety attacks and diffusing their affect rather than spending day after day of your life figuring out the "worst case scenario." If ever there were a way to get caught in a negative thought pattern, doomsday planning is the way to do that. Sorry, but my advice is: don't take this bad advice!!
All I have to say about that is this advice is not meant to be a cureall for anxiety, rather to help reduce it in the fearful moment. I completely agree that when you are not in an anxious state of mind you should be working on your triggers and gently exposing yourself to them to overcome your fears. However, when you have anticipatory anxiety, this exercise can help you to get your anxious thoughts out of your racing spinning mind so you can focus on other coping strategies, and not just your current fears.
And as always, I just share what works for me. Just because it helps me doesn't mean it will help everyone.
This is really informative as well as an interesting post to read. Thanks for sharing that good information on how to cope with panic attack. I find it very helpful.
you are incredibly beautiful!♥mwah♥
it makes me feel i can come back ro life :D i can see life in the world 'anxiety' they way it is written in a very bright color <3 love ya.
My husband has panic attacks and has an extremely difficult time being positive and does not think affirmations will work. Does any kind of cognitive therapy work for entrenched pessimists?
Hmmm I don't know. I think you have to try it with an open mind if you want to see any kind of positive outcome. Unfortunately you can't force him to be open minded. I admit it sounds silly. I thought it was. I think I was just at rock bottom and was willing to try anything at that point. Maybe he could see a therapist? Best of luck to your hubby.
These days I rarely have panic attacks, but in my early 20s it was bad, especially anticipatory anxiety. The 10 tips listed here are a good start to calming down. Another strategy that I used all the time when a panic attack was about to roar its ugly head was to think about the situation I was about to enter and recall from past experience that I would be fine. I would take a few minutes to myself, gather my breathing, and play the whole situation in my head and force positive feelings/thoughts into this scenario.
When I read about leaving positive notes around I had a laugh to myself that maybe I took it too far. My primary anxiety was triggered around all things food, but next in line was time. Worrying about time was so bad that I tattooed the words Slow Down under my watch. I made it stick out far enough and every time I looked at my watch after that I would instantly be reminded and it worked remarkeably well. My watch broke about 4 years ago and has yet to be replaced. I sport the tattoo all day and enjoy explaining to others it's significance in my life :)
A book I read that really helped me was In Praise of Slowness by Carl Honre.
Aimee thank you for creating this healthy environment for people to share and heal together. I wish I had this when I first realize I was suffering from anxiety. Keep up the good work and remember that life does get good again!
I panic in driving test so I end up failing the test.
My panic attacks seem to be triggered by my health. Every time i have a muscle twinge or I can't seem to focus, panic takes over and the twinge becomes a heart attack, cancer, or the lack of concentration is a brain tumor. I worked in a Dr. office for years and the panic just continuously gets worse.
It isn't about creating worse case scenarios, it's about recognizing and challenging the ones that already exist in an individual's mind that largely contribute to the cycle of anxiety and panic. This is an aspect of cognitive restructuring utilized in cognitive behavioral therapy to assist in relieving "catastrophic thinking", one of the ten cognitive distortions addressed in C.B.T. which is tremendously successful in the treatment of the anxiety spectrum disorders. Though generally the lesson ends simply acknowledging that the worst case scenario is neither that dire nor that likely - game planning for feared scenarios has the potential to only make them seem that much more viable to the mind when what you really want to do is dispel the irrational thoughts by challenging them with realistic ones. That having been said, positive/realistic self-talk and affirmations, as mentioned above, are strongly recommended and, again, successful.
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